Category: Automakers

Planet Of The Apes

2023

Video: Planet Of The Apes

Отличия серверных жестких дисков от десктопных
Video: Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) - Caesar Speaks Scene (1/5) | Movieclips 2023, January
Planet Of The Apes
Planet Of The Apes
Anonim

CADILACES, MATIZ AND Pheasants

Which car is more convenient to drive in a modern city? Just about - on a small, brisk and economical, and also inconspicuous, so that other citizens would not stole. Then why, then, on the streets of Moscow, St. Petersburg and Vyshny Volochek, not at all “smarts” or “matizs” prevail? Because to blame … cocks!

There is such a cock - pheasant-argus. Although he’s a passport and a pheasant, but in fact - it’s still a rooster, and it’s very beautiful. True, hell can’t fly: the wings are so long that they interfere. Yes, and he runs, therefore, is also not so hot - if one of the predators loves chicken, then there will be no problems with lunch. However, the offspring are left by the very moron who is longer … no, feathers: male Argus compete with each other only in terms of wing sizes! The struggle of relatives for "steepness" overshadowed common sense and led evolution to a standstill …

In general, the dominance in our streets and streets of multi-liter and multi-meter “beamshek” and “merci” is quite justified - genetic reasons were found. And the same "Daewoo Matiz" chances of survival and reproduction in an urban environment oh how little: a wing did not come out!

HOW DO WE RIDE?

If today a bakery or a grocery was closed on your street, then tomorrow at the same place either a jewelry or a pharmacy will open. Because we are partially wealthy and completely sick: we are already lacking in culture, but for neurosises, TVs with a full house and incomprehensible aggressiveness - easily …

It’s to blame for this … No, we won’t blaspheme, although it was the Almighty who placed all the creatures of God in the blood, starting with almost trilobites, innate aggressiveness - and we just inherited it safely. Even worse - this aggressiveness is constantly looking for a way out … Say, two cute fish can exist perfectly with each other in a prestigious aquarium with a European-style renovation only when at least one more swim nearby - all of them are harmful and nasty! In other words, periodic scandals with strangers from the “other area” strengthen the team, but as soon as the neighbors leave the water area completely, the disorder begins in the house, even if you take the saints away.

Is that familiar? But what about! As soon as Napoleon foolishly crossed the Neman, our landowners immediately got along with the serfs and together rounded up the adversary with a club of popular warfare. But as soon as the warrior was sent to the Elbe, and we entered Paris, our Troekuros again mated with our Dubrovsky ones, and future Decembrists began to look closely at Senate Square … Aggression lost sight of the old target, but it would certainly find a new one!

Let us return, however, to the familiar element - onto the road. We almost mechanically blink headlights to oncoming motorists, warning about traffic cops getting wet in the bushes - here they are, opponents! - but, passing an ambush, we immediately change our orientation and start a war with those whom we tried to save a moment ago from a well-deserved, in general, fine … To cut a teapot gaping in front of our nose, go around on the right (and even on the left!) on the side of the turn to the barrier, slow down in front of the nose of someone who has not given you the way, “blind” the oncoming one with powerful xenon - there are a lot of similar “fighting” tricks. And if the road is empty and traffic cops are not to be seen, then the accumulated aggressiveness will seek another goal. Macaques in these cases break branches, birds peck at the ground, and people peck at each other … Those who worked for a long time in closed collectives know this very well - therefore, passengers will most likely get it …

And if there is no car, no passengers? Then we'll find something else …

HOW DO WE RELAX?

Crap underground passages and obscene garaged walls. Inverted urns and torn seats in subway trains. Broken glass ground pavilions and blown tires of cars. All this is the result of aggression redirected by the kings of nature to various inanimate objects. Pecking the globe, like the same rooster, is not a royal matter, but the appearance in public places of the notorious rubber scarecrows of our great “hands of leaders”, we seem to never wait.

AVOID THE Duel OR WHAT WE DO NOT ABLE TO?

In short, the King was right - the ancestors were to blame. But…

But, unlike us, those ancestors who are very, very distant, were able and able to negotiate with their own kind without massacre. Wise genes whisper - the one who seems big is the one who really is stronger. To stand on its hind legs, make a terrible face, change color, fluff feathers or tail, yell or sizzle something like that is always welcome, but shedding blood because of nonsense - what are we, people or something?

They say there is such a frog - Pipa of Suriname, so she knows how to inflate so that the Jurassic Park will scatter in fear. We have successfully inherited this - for example, in the movie Circus, a bad American was blown in a tailcoat so that it seemed more solid. And in the East, any self-respecting buy was already fat in itself. As for the majority of self-doubt leaders, they simply cannot physically move along the streets outside huge limousines the size of an elephant.

There were, of course, exceptions. I remember, about forty years ago, the Cuban Fidel personally met our Kosygin almost at the gas station … And 30 years ago, five minutes later, French President Monsieur Giscard d'Estaing came to take the oath in a modest small car, and again, he himself was driving. Yes, and according to Camp David, the guests are obviously not riding on the artisans. But in general, the subprogram of stunning an opponent with his appearance works quite successfully with us.

Indeed, what we listed there - to change the color, stand on its hind legs … Is it not for the average owner of Samara that it is his duty to tint the windows and cram spacers under the rear shock absorbers in order to tear up her ass as high as possible? A macaque can grab an empty can and start pounding on it what urine is - we prefer sirens, croakers and other screaming mora. The size of the scallops plays a huge role among roosters - zoologists say that if you attach a huge comb to the most mediocre and clumsy kochet, they quickly respect it (weren't the Scandinavian warriors - the Sigmund different there - wore terribly uncomfortable, but pretty tall helmets?) And the modern “homo sapiens” instead of the cock-scallop puts “color music” from the “flashing lights” on the roof or decorates the crown of the ragged “Niva” chandelier with Chinese headlights …

However, from some point, references to ancestors become inappropriate. Of course, by our standards, they are all brainless, but note: the ancestors prefer a psychological battle to a physical battle with their own kind! The same bears can “mop up” each other for a long time, standing on their hind legs, gritting their teeth and each other’s mothers in their own bearish dialect, but in the end one of them simply “spits” and leaves, and the second immediately calms down. But a person, unfortunately, is obviously weak in his natural appearance, and therefore likes to demonstrate strength, preferring contact actions to non-contact ones, even among his own. Well, if someone divides people into groups of “friends and foes” - not even ethnic, but just fans of “Inter” and “Juventus” - then for some reason no instinctive prohibitions from the subconscious mind will pop up.

By the way, about Italian tiffozi, and not only about the fans. Recently, one of the local courts made a fateful decision, officially allowing Italians to swear at the wheel! It is difficult to say whether the judges thought about releasing the accumulated aggressiveness, but according to their verdict, such words merely “reinforce the thought” … Therefore, the venerable don, barked from the window of a neighboring car by another don, left the court with nothing. Apparently, if everything is perfect in a person, then this is not our person …

ABOUT PIGS

I foresee the malicious smirk of many natives of near and far abroad - they say, we know your distant ancestors! Dirty, bristly and grunt …

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